Unspoken Song
by littlesweetcupcake
Summary: What if everything didn't go well in the courtroom after Rusty testified? What if everything went down hill fast and all Shandy could do was watch it happen and pray for the best? Warning: Main characters get hurt. Lots of Angst.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I don't have a Beta right now. Please forgive me! Also, the blah blah blah about characters that don't belong to me. Obviously, or I wouldn't have to write fanfic to satisfy my creative mind! I love Shandy! Like, to the core, so please enjoy! Angst galore!

Mornings were Sharon's favorite time of day. Most of them anyways. Today was different. Today was a morning she could soon forget. Rusty was still in a fowl mood with everything surrounding the case and Gus. She had let her disappointment be known, but she knew that Rusty would eventually make the right decision. He was her boy after all. This morning she had tried to encourage him to talk with Gus before he gave his testimony in court. Why did things have to be so complicated...all the time? Rusty asked if she'd be there and she promised would be, if the case allowed. She saw the change in Rusty as soon as she mentioned Gus.

"Look Sharon, I'm going to talk to him. I know you're upset with me about the whole situation but I can handle it. I will handle it." He said as he slammed the box of cereal in the cabinet before storming off to his room. Sharon let out a small sigh. She knew the Rusty was coming from a place of shame and fear, but she knew he also would need to learn to navigate these waters. He needed to learn the responsibility of being kind with the feeling of others. She smirked as she thought to herself. She stood for a moment and let herself swell with pride remembering where he'd been and where he was today. He had work to do, but he was more than capable.

Sharon glanced at her clock before finishing up and heading out. She grabbed her things and headed for the door but paused and looked down the hallway. She was tempted to go speak with him but knew that conversation would require more time than she had to spare right now. She was already gonna be late and this latest case was proving to be more than difficult. She knew they were close, they just needed a break. She would go find one. With one last look down the hall she headed out the door. She hoped and prayed she'd be able to make it to the courthouse to be there for Rusty. Even though he was frustrated, he still had asked for her and she would come for him.

Andy took his time walking towards her office. He was enjoying the view of watching her work. She look so good just sitting there concentrating on a screen. He missed her. He missed knowing that she wasn't very far away. He loved working with her, he just wished his evenings were still filled with her. His surgery had put a lot more of them together than either of them had anticipated. He smiled at the memories though. The simple truth is he was in love with Sharon Raydor and there was nothing he could do about it. He hadn't even told her yet. So for now, he just enjoyed his view as he came to her office. He lightly tapped the door as he stuck his head in to speak with her.

"Sharon, do you have a minute?" He flashed her a smile. One he knew she'd have a hard time resisting.

"Yes, of course. Come in. What's going on?" She closed her laptop so she could focus on him. Since he moved out, things were different. She was finding herself missing him more and more as the days went by.

Andy watcher her close her laptop and decided to take advantage of the time he had. He closed the doors and closed the blinds. Sharon eyed him carefully. She didn't think anything of him closing the door. It was the blinds that caught her attention. She knew that it was personal and prayed to God that it wasn't something bad. She wasn't sure her heart could take anymore right now.

"Right now, I need to speak with Sharon. Can we do that for a moment?" Andy asked coming around to her side of the desk. She sat up straighter as he approached. When she didn't immediately respond he asked again. "Can I talk with Sharon?"

Sharon swallowed the anxiety that was starting to creep up her throat. She tried to stifle the panic that was setting in as well. She looked up at him for a moment before she found the courage to speak.

"Andy, of course. What's wrong?" She looked into his eyes to try to determine what was going on. She squinted her eyes at him when she noticed the mischief in them. Oh, she was very familiar with that look in his eyes.

"You see, I have a problem. There's this really beautiful woman that I work with and I haven't seen much of her lately. I mean, I was staying with her for a while but now that I'm back home...things just aren't the same. I miss her. I miss our time together. I thought that as a friend you could help me figure out what to do about it." Andy reached over and grabbed one of her hands as he finished speaking.

"Andy…" Sharon looked down for a moment. She couldn't handle looking at him right now. His admission matched her own feelings so closely. The last thing she needed right now was to get wrapped up in personal feelings. She needed to focus on this case, but when she looked into his eyes again, she fell prey. She stood up and came closer to him. "I think I could give you some suggestions on how to make it better. If you're as close as you say you are…"

"I really really hope so." He said interrupting her. She gave him a slight nod before continuing.

"If you're as close as you say you are, she probably feels the same way. She probably misses the little things like holding your hand or the hugs. I have it on good authority that your hugs have healing powers." She stepped closer into him as she spoke. "She probably wouldn't mind it if you kissed her more, and she would probably love a date tonight if she's not too busy at work."

She looked up at him as she said that last sentence. She knew she was walking a line and breaking one of her rules but she couldn't convince herself to step away. She missed him. She wanted more time with him. There was just never enough time. She hoped he knew how much he meant to her. Neither had spoken the words but the touches and looks left an almost undeniable impression upon both of them. Her smile grew bigger as she watched him take in her words. She saw when his mind was made up and didn't even bother to try and stop him when he leaned forward to kiss her.

"You're absolutely right. I think I'll take her out tonight, that is if she's not too busy. And I definitely can work on kissing her more." Sharon let herself fall into the hug he offered. She allowed herself a moment before she came to her senses. She stood up straight and composed herself. Andy noticed the change and took a cue. He knew she would only be able to handle so much at work. He was pleasantly surprised it went as far as it did, but he was grateful nonetheless.

"Are you gonna head over to the courthouse? Rusty should be up here pretty soon." Andy said taking a step away from her to give her room to breath. Sharon glanced at her clock before confirming with a headshake.

"Yes, I told him I'd be there and nothing is happening with this case right now. I can spare a few minutes to support my son." She started to gather a few things at her desk. "Did you plan on going back as well?" She looked up at him. She'd never ask that of him, especially just to have the support. If he was going anyway, she would definitely take advantage of the situation.

"Absolutely. I need to hear what's being said about the dirtbag. I'm so ready for this case to finally be over." He said as he reached for her coat. It was brisk outside and he knew how easily she got cold.

As they entered the courtroom, Sharon's eyes immediately landed on Rusty. She saw the look on his face. Relief and trepidation. She wished she could have gotten here sooner. She hated seeing him like this. She too wished for this all to be over. For the sake of everyone involved. She sat next to him and patted his leg as she offered him a smile. He only held her gaze for a second before retreating. She looked at Andy and took his hand. She loved being able to do this, just to be able to share this connection with him.

They didn't have to wait long. Rusty was called to the stand. Sharon's heart melted as she watched Rusty take the oath of truth. She was so proud of him in so many ways. She watched as Slider's lawyer tried to make him look more human. She was proud of the way he handled himself. She glanced at Slider occasionally and could tell he was upset by what Rusty had to say.

"Any further questions for the witness?" The judge asked Andrea as he reached for his gavel.

"No your honor." She replied as she glanced at her documents. She was sure Rusty's testimony was good enough as it was given.

"Well with that, Mr. Beck, thank you for your testimony here today. The court will now take a recess. Let's reconvene here at 3pm to hear closing statements. Bailiff, remand the prisoner to custody." The judge banged his gavel and dismissed the court room.

They all stood with the judge, no one expecting what happened next. Sharon's attention was on Rusty. He looked so done. Done with this case and all the feelings that came with it. She knew he still needed to talk with Gus and that it was probably weighing heavily on him as well. She was so glad she made the time to come support him. She watched and waited for him to make his way down the stand and towards her. She wasn't expecting it when Slider yelled no. She wasn't expecting to look and see him with a gun in his hand. She wasn't expecting for him to aim it at her Rusty. She wasn't expecting for him to fire off two shots in Rusty's direction. She surely wasn't expecting to look at Rusty and watch him fall to the ground.

Sharon stood frozen for a moment before she felt Andy pull her to the ground. Neither of them were armed. They weren't expecting something like this. She heard more shots and screaming around her, but all she could feel was Andy's weight on top of her and all she could see was Rusty's body falling over and over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I think things are going to go quite different than I had originally planned. I just honestly feel horrible for leaving this story unfinished but I have the worst case of writers block. Please forgive me. Please! Or not. I guess we'll both find out as I write! Continuing with the theme of no beta, have mercy.**

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" Slider said as he paced the courtroom. In his mind he kept replaying the past hour. He actually kind of liked the kid. He just, he just snapped. This is not how he planned for things to go. To be honest, he didn't really plan any of this. That was part of his current problem. He was just so mad at Rusty he didn't think of much else. He got mad and saw a chance and took it. It wasn't that hard actually. The guard wasn't looking at him when he approached and he turned and all Slider could see was the gun, just sitting there on his waist. The only thing he thought when he saw it was to get it and get revenge on Rusty. Rusty was supposed to be his friend. He was supposed to make him look good and all he did was bad mouth him. Slider kept his pacing up as thoughts kept running through his head. It didn't help that the lady cop wouldn't shut up, wouldn't stop asking him questions. Wasn't it enough that she convinced him to let the kid go? Wasn't it enough that he'd already hit her once? Why couldn't she just shut up so he could think? Did she think that this was really the way this day was supposed to go for any of them? Did she think this is how I planned it, that I wanted to shoot Rusty? She can be so annoying!

"Just shut up!" Slider yelled as he brandished the gun in her direction. "Say another word and I swear someone else will get shot and it just might be you!" Slider kicked the chair by the table beside him. He had all the people left in the court room sitting in front. He needed to keep an eye on them. Especially after he found those two cops. He looked over to his left and saw the security guard laying on the floor. He was dead. There was no help for him. He didn't actually mean to shoot him. He was trying to take the gun and it just went off. Serves him right for meddling in where he didn't belong. This was supposed to be between Slider and Rusty, not some third person that was definitely not invited to the party.

The cop sitting next to the woman didn't look all that smart, like he was just waiting for the chance to try something.

"And you," Slider said pointing the gun directly at the guy who said his name was Andy, "If you try anything, I swear, you stupid mouthy lady cop friend will pay. Ok. I don't trust you and I'm watching you." Sliders' hand shook but there was power behind his words. Andy immediately relaxed. He'd never try anything as long as he knew that his actions could result in Sharon being hurt. Sharon took this moment to jump in and hopefully engage Slider in conversation.

"Slider. Let's think about this. Please. I know you didn't mean to kill that officer. I'm going to ask you one more time, please let these other hostages go. It'll look good to the guys on the other side of that door. Please. We don't mean you any harm." Sharon kept his gaze and for once thought she might actually be getting through to him.

"I don't care how it looks to them. It's not like they understand anything anyway. I already let the kid go. That is enough." Slider didn't seem to want to believe her.

"True, but you shot him. Letting the kid go was necessary. They would have already come in here guns blazing if you hadn't." Sharon tried to reason with him. Inside she knew that was a lie. If Slider hadn't come to his senses and let medical personnel take Rusty, she very well would have watched her son bleed out and die right before her very eyes. They couldn't risk the lives of the other hostages that were still alive. Luckily, Slider had not seemed to put together that she was Rusty's mother. She was sure he wouldn't be so willing to talk otherwise. He only found out they were cops because he saw their badges.

"You think they'd let me have some pizza or something if I let some people go? Yeah, supreme. None of that thin crust crap, I want a deep dish and add jalapeños. You think you can get that for me?" Slider said walking closer to the group of people. Most of them were avoiding eye contact, hoping not to do anything to spark a sudden outburst.

"You'd have to answer a phone but I'm sure that's possible." Sharon suggested sweetly but it frustrated Slider.

"I told you lady, I am not gonna be talking on the stupid phone. I do not want them messing with my head. I need to think. So get my pizza in here and we can talk." Slider said stepping back and sitting on the defense table.

Sharon shared a look with Andy. She took in the scene before her. Take away the dead body and scared hostages and Slider just looked like a normal kid. But the blood puddle in front of her reminded her very quickly that this wasn't just another kid. He had already murdered two people and her son…Rusty. She didn't want to let her mind go there. She had no way of knowing how he was, if he survived, not even where they had taken him. Thinking about it all just made the pit in her stomach twist and shout. She looked at Slider again. He refuses to talk to anyone but somehow he wants to negotiate pizza. She would laugh at the situation if didn't involve lives in the hands of someone truly unstable. She knew every conversation she had with him could end up setting him off again. He seemed to have calmed tremendously with the thought of pizza but that was no guarantee. His moods changed with the wind and he had a gun.

"What if you sent someone out with a message? That way they could tell them what you wanted?" Sharon tried to make it seem like a brilliant idea. Really in her mind she just wanted a shot at getting as many people out of here as she could. She didn't want another life taken at the hands of this monster. She watched him as he thought over her suggestion and prayed that he would find it suitable.

"Fine. But I want him. The fidgety cop dude beside you. That way, no screw ups. You don't get it right, I get to shoot someone else. Got it!" He said pointing his gun at Andy. He laughed as if it were a game. A life for a pizza. That was all these people were worth to him, basically next to nothing. Andy and Sharon looked at each other and shared volumes between them. Sharon was happy he was sending Andy but Andy would gladly stay if it meant that Sharon was going to be safe. That's the problem when you have two people willing to die for each other. One will always jump on the sword, and so he did.

"Why don't you send the lady cop? She's apparently more with it than me. That way, someone doesn't die because I don't have a good memory." Andy said without taking his eyes off Sharon. Her look immediately changed. She tried to give him a look to stop him but he knew it was of no use. Andy would do what he wanted and he wanted to save her. He was such a stubborn fool sometimes, she thought. Why couldn't he ever just do what he was told? She looked back at Slider and smiled and shook her head.

"Send him." She said. "That way we can just relax and figure this thing out." She tried to play on his irritation with Andy in hopes he would stick with his original plan.

"I like that. You, get up. Walk to the door. Slowly. Go get my pizza, and you better deliver it!" Slider said holding his gun aimed surprisingly steady at Andy. Andy slowly stood up from where he was sitting. He looked back down at Sharon. She held his gaze and prayed he see her love for him in her eyes. He just gave her his cheeky grin before squaring his shoulders and heading towards the exit. The look said everything between them. Their love was theirs to have and it broke his heart to walk away from her. She watched him walk away and prayed that she would be able to see both her boys again.

 **TBC...**

 **Yay or nah?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: CHAPTER 3!**

 **So I just want to thank everyone that has read this story so far. I've not been the best at updating but you're actually quite lucky. I have another story that I started in 2007 and I just updated it not too long ago! I am bound and determined now to finish the 4 stories that I have started here because I owe it to loyal fans, who even after almost 10 years, still read and review. So thank you for that. So here's a treat for you, hopefully. I'm on a 5 hour flight right now and I have decided that once we lose internet, because we're flying into the great unknown…..once we lose internet, I will power up the laptop and I will write. I will write until I land or the power on this laptop dies. Either way, I'm hoping for a substantial chapter for you. The possibilities are literally endless. So…sit back and relax and get ready for some major ANGST! I will say this though, I plan on answering several questions that were asked about plot and characters. SPOILER ALERT-** **à** **I plan on killing….hahahaha, got ya! I'll never tell, ANY OF YOU! Enjoy the read!**

With his pizza eaten and his stomach pleased, Slider sat lazily on the desk he had previously occupied as the defendant. If Sharon didn't know any better she would assume he had taken something based on his behavior. As odd as it may seem, it was almost comical to sit and listen to his ramblings. He was having a full blown conversation with himself. Some of it seemed related to his current situation, but most of it didn't. Sharon tried to follow, she tried to pick up on something she could use to help the situation. She tried to use all her energy on helping end this situation. She needed to get to her son. She needed to know how Rusty was doing. He'd lost a lot of blood and wasn't conscious when she last saw him. That imagine of him would always be burned in her mind. She hoped it wouldn't be the last time she saw him alive. There was so much she wanted to tell him. So much she needed from him. She needed to see him graduate from college. She needed to see him find the love of his life. She needed to see his face light up with a new break in a story. She needed so much from him. She needed to see his smile again. She needed to hear him complain about the trivial things teenage boys found to be unrealistic. She needed so much from him. She needed to hear him laugh. She needed to see the quirky grin, or his nervous fidget. She needed to hear him make fun of Ricky and plot with Emily. She needed her son to be alive. She needed her heart to keep beating and she was absolutely positive that it would not if Rusty's had stopped.

She was brought out of her reverie when she noticed that Slider was now standing in front of her again. She quickly looked up at him and wondered what she had missed when she allowed her mind to be momentarily distracted. She looked around at the others to possibly get a clue as to what was going on right now. She momentarily wished that Andrea was here with her but she was also grateful that her friend had been sent with Rusty and that she too was safe. She was lost and realized she was only going to get an answer from one source. So she looked up at Slider and waited for him to speak.

"Why are you looking around? I asked you a question. Are you gonna answer me or not?" Slider kept waving the gun around haphazardly in Sharon's general direction to emphasize his point.

"I was looking around because I'm not sure how to answer your question." Sharon admitted honestly. She didn't have it in her to lie about the situation and it would probably only serve to make him mad.

"So you don't know why you're crying? Well, what's wrong with you? If I'm crying, I usually have a reason." Slider asked.

"I wasn't…."Sharon stopped herself because it was at that point that she realized that she did, in fact, have a tear stained face. How long had it been there? When did she allow that to happen? She quickly wiped her face and decided to go with the truth. Maybe she could play on some sense of humanity that might still be present in Slider.

"I was crying because I was thinking about my children." Sharon said. It wasn't a complete lie. She had thought of each of her children in the time she had been sitting. She hoped it was enough to bait Slider and he took it.

"You have kids?" He asked surprised.

"Yes, I have three. They're all busy but they are good kids and I would like to think that the last time I saw them wouldn't be the last." Sharon spoke with much confidence but there was also much emotion. She meant every single word she had just spoken.

"You seem to love you kids a lot. I wish I had a mom like you. But I guess we can't all be that lucky." Slider seemed defeated at that last statement. He walked back over to the table that he seemed to claim as his. He sat on it and seemed to think for a moment before looking up and addressing the crowd. "Who all in here has kids at home?" He watched as a few hands came up. He looked Sharon in the eye as he spoke his next comment. "If you're raising your hand, go. Hurry up. Get out!" He yelled and got up from his table in hopes that they'd move a little faster. He turned back around and noticed Sharon still sitting on the ground. He walked over and squatted in front of her, once again brandishing the gun in her face.

"Well Ms. Mom Cop Lady, aren't you gonna go?" He asked condescendingly. He was confused at what he was seeing on cop lady's face. "Are you or are you not gonna leave?" He asked again. Everyone left in the courtroom looked at the lady who could take her freedom and run but hadn't yet. What was she going to do?

Outside the courtroom things were in a frenzy. The court house was still on lockdown and nothing was being accomplished. They managed to get a wire in for sound and video, so they could at least know what was going on with Slider. Andy watched the screen and watched the look on Sharon's face while she sat there. He knew she must be worried sick about Rusty. He called the hospital to check and he was still in surgery and they're supposed to call. So far he hadn't heard anything. He assumed at this point, no news was better than bad news…it was plum great. The last thing Sharon needed to endure when she came out of this was to hear devastating news of her son. Andy knew that Rusty was who she spoke of mostly. He knew they didn't have the best morning because she texted him after it was all said and done. When Slider told all the people with kids to leave, Andy could barely contain himself. The woman he loved was trapped inside with a lunatic as far as he was concerned. He rushed over to the door, bound and determined to greet her the moment she walked through those doors. He waited and waited as a couple people managed to stumble out of the room they were being held in but Sharon wasn't one of them. He made sure they were ushered off with a cop before turning back around. It only took a second for him to realize she wasn't coming out and he felt his heart drop. He ran back to the monitor to see what was happening. He saw Slider sitting in front of Sharon and he saw the look of determination of her face. When Slider questioned whether or not she was leaving, Andy knew the answer before she said a word, but hearing them took his breath away.

"No." Sharon said. "I love my kids, but I cannot leave while you still have hostages. I just can't. We're gonna be here together, you and me. Together until you decide to let these people go. Where do we go from here Slider? How does this play out for you?" Sharon decided to push. She had nothing else to lose and she had to try to get these people to safety.

"I already told you I didn't know how this was going to go. Just like I already told you that I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just wanna go home. I just want to forget any of this stupid crap happened in the first place. But I can't because all of your stupid cop buddy friends are waiting out there to kill me." Slider said getting agitated again.

"But that's not true." Sharon said as she risked standing up. She put her hands up in a surrender position when Slider pointed his gun at her. "Slider, I'm not trying to hurt you and no one out there wants to hurt you for that matter. We all want the same thing you want. We all just want to go home. So why don't you let these people go. Let them go home, just like you want to do." She slowly took baby steps toward him and was standing directly in front of him and his gun when she was finished speaking. She had no idea what was going to happen now, but she knew that she had to try. Slider was fading faster than the rest of them and it was only a matter of time before he was too far gone. Even after everything he's done, she wanted to see him walk out alive. He wasn't her son but he belonged to somebody and even with his terrible deeds, he still needed to be loved.

"I'm so tired. Man, I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. Is that too much to ask? Can I please just sleep?" Slider started rubbing his face and Sharon knew that this was the best chance she was going to have at this.

"You can go to sleep as soon as everyone is out of here. Simple as that. Just let them go sweetie. If you really want to sleep, just let everyone go and we can get you someplace to sleep." Sharon still stood with her hands up waiting on his response. She wasn't sure how much time had passed but was so grateful when he finally spoke. She let go of the breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

"Fine. Just get out of here. All of you. Just go, including you." He said pointing specifically at Sharon.

Andy watched the scene unfold. He felt something grip his heart when Sharon started walking towards Slider. He knew why she was doing it but he wished to God that she would just sit back down. He wished that someone else could be the hero for once. He listened at waited for Slider's response and was as relieved as everyone else when Slider finally agreed to release the rest of the hostages. He didn't run to greet her this time because he knew she wouldn't be coming right out. He watched as Sharon lowered her arms and encouraged everyone to move quickly and quietly to the exit. Ever the cop, always looking out for everyone else. Andy watched as Sharon turned back to Slider.

"That was a very good decision. Now all you have to do is walk out of here with me. Give me the gun and take my hand and let us walk out of here together. Can you do that?" Sharon asked in her best motherly voice. She was hoping to get through to him. He seemed to take her up on the offer momentarily but then just as quickly it all changed. He let out a guttural scream that had Sharon stepping back and then he started his ranting and pacing.

"No no no no no. I don't want to go back to prison. Do you know what it's like in there? I bet you don't because you're miss perfect mom so you've probably never been in trouble." He said as he continues to walk back and forth, scratching his head with the gun. Sharon knew that she was losing him at this point.

"I haven't been but I know people who have and they're doing just fine in their life right now. One bad decision doesn't have to ruin all of your life." Sharon said with conviction. She knew that to be true in so many, many ways.

"You've never been here so just shut up. Ok. Shut up and get the hell out of here!" He screamed at her. "Just get out." He said walking towards her. Sharon didn't budge from her spot. She hoped he would see that she was willing to be there for him.

"I can't leave you here alone. I would rather stay with you." Sharon kept pushing in hopes that she could draw something from him.

"No. You go now." He screamed in her face. "I'm not going out there for them to lock me up like a caged animal. That's all my life has been for months and I won't go back. Not for you, not for anyone!" He said still screaming in her face. She still remained unmoved.

"Slider, there's only one way out of here. Give me the gun and let us walk out of here together." Sharon said again. She hoped repetition would sink in quicker.

"You think you know everything, don't you. Well, that's not the only way." Slider said as he put his gun up to his head. Sharon eyes widened as she realized his intention. "I'm not gonna let them shoot me, I'll do it myself."

"Slider, no!" Sharon said as she lunged for him but was too late. The gun went off as she went for him and she ended up covered with his blood. She caught his body as it was falling to the ground. She looked down at his lifeless body and just kept saying the word 'no' over and over again. She stayed like that holding his body until she felt someone pulling her away. She recognized the cologne and her instinct kicked in immediately. She turned around and clung to him. She needed to ground herself and that was best done in Andy's arms. When she felt herself under control again, she turned around and looked at the lifeless body of a kid, so young. Such a wasted life, which immediately brought her son to mind. She looked up at Andy and only said one word.

"Rusty?" She needed to know. She needed to know how much her heart was going to break today. Andy took her trembling hands in his and started running circles with his thumb.

"The hospital called just a little while ago. They said that Rusty….."

 **Hahahahahahah. I bet you're upset with me now! This has been fun to write. Unfortunately, I'm done for the night. As always, I love reading the reviews so drop a comment if you enjoyed it. I will get another chapter up, promise. I won't leave you hanging.**

 **TBC**


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